Put me in front of a crowd of people I will be funny, clever, and comfortable. Have a chat with me one on one and I will bottle up. There is something about the impersonal nature of crowds that makes it easy to be myself. It’s the impersonal relationship, along with me blindly gallivanting into certain situations that gives me the confidence to thrive.  It took time to build up confidence though.  It was a mixture of practiced skills and an outgoing personality. Another expression commonly tossed around is “fake it until you make it,” but this aphorism doesn’t teach us to dedicate ourselves.  If you’re doing it you’re not faking it, and if you’re faking it you’re not practicing it.  The saying should be practice it until you make it, or habit it until you nab it, or study it until you buddy it, or drill it until you instill it.  But the best one is practice makes perfect.

My mom,  bless her soul, did not instill the “control your own fate” mentality.  When I was young the local college held an event where you could bring your kids in to do some family exercises.  I remember one where all the kids showed their “secret talent.” There were kids who did magic tricks in colorful capes, dancers with choreographed  routines, and angelic sounding singers.  All of the kids looked as though they had some amazing talent that they were genetically awesome at.  I didn’t have anything planned, so when it was my turn I panicked. I held my breath until my face turned red, then ruby, then purple. I held my breath for so long my mom shook me. Violently exhaling I said “Ta Dah!” Leaving the room and walking down the hall she told me that maybe I haven’t found my secret talent yet.  She made it sound like talent was a predisposed disposition.  For most of my life I believed people are either naturally good at something or naturally bad at something.  Now I know I need to put my mind toward something and give it thought, and dedication, and deliberate practice to achieve perfection.  If you show yours kids this then they will feel that they control their fate.

Please let me know if you liked this post in the comment section. Also, if there was any writing or grammar errors so that I can fix and learn from them, as to become a better writer.


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